From Hopkinton to Boston 2018: My Soggy Journey

In the howling wind comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into the souls on the tree of pain

These lyrics from U2’s Bullet the Blue Sky echo through my mind as I carefully plod through the muddy field at the Athlete’s Village at Hopkinton High School. The wind is gusting and the rain is unrelenting, it is in fact a stinging rain at times as the precipitation straddles the line between rain and sleet. My start time is about two hours away. I need shelter! 

As I venture into one of the tents set up for this purpose I can feel it; Heat! Precious heat! Runners fill practically every nook and cranny but I manage to find a spot near the back entrance where I settle in to enjoy the warmth for as long as I can. Just outside the opposite entrance from where I stand, the Gatorade tent blows by. That’s right, the tent actually blows by. The force of the wind pulled its stakes out of the ground causing it to topple over and roll like a tumbleweed about 20 feet. This is going to be a wild one today, I think to myself.

I’ve been running competitively for over 30 years but never have race day conditions been as extreme as they are today.  There is wind, rain, and sleet and unfortunately I’m not talking about an Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band that's serenading runners on the course. The wrath of the elements is prominent as the temperature with the wind chill is    -1 degree Celsius. My goal originally was to beat my qualifying time that got me here (3:15 set at the VT City Marathon.). However, today’s conditions dictate a change of plans. The new goal is simply to finish, running as efficiently and swiftly as the conditions allow.

After hanging out in the tent for about 45 minutes I finally have to give in to nature’s call. As much as I hate to do it I need to venture back outside to wait in line for the port-o-let. I pick the line that looks the shortest and patiently wait my turn, periodically bouncing up and down on my calves with my arms folded in front of me to stay warm. Slowly but steadily the line moves. By the time I exit the port-o-let the time has come for me to work my way towards the starting line. The adventure begins!

Still unsure of what specifically I want to wear for layers, I jog towards the starting line to get a sense of how I will feel when I’m running.  On my lower body I have my shorts with wind pants over them. Up top I have a running cap, running gloves, a short sleeve wicking shirt and arm warmers. But wait, there’s more!  Over the short sleeve shirt and arm warmers I have a long sleeve wicking shirt. For my final layer I have a clear garbage bag with slots cut out for my arms and another for my neck. I never thought I’d be a garbage bag wearer, but it’s a good way to stay dry and desperate times call for desperate measures.

I know I’ll ultimately be uncomfortable in these wind pants so I take them off and place them in one of the bags of clothes for charity. Continuing to jog down Grove Street towards the starting corrals I am fairly comfortable, but I can’t help but think that with my current layers I’ll be overheating by the time I get to Framingham. Getting the right layers feels like such a crap shoot today. The line between too few and too many is razor thin. 

I gotta do it! I gotta at least try running without the long sleeve shirt. I pull it off and am left with just my cap, gloves, short sleeve shirt, arm warmers, shorts, and of course the stylish clear garbage bag. Hey, this isn’t too bad! I feel a slight chill, but I’m not running very fast. By the time I get a few miles into the race I should be okay. I decide to ditch the long sleeve shirt, so I put that in one of the charity bags too.

I proceed to my starting corral ready to get this party started. I recently read a book titled; The Way of the Seal by retired Navy Seal Commander Mark Divine. In it he uses the term; embrace the suck, as a strategy for getting through tough situations.  Basically, instead of focusing on how miserable the conditions are, embrace them and make the most of them. With this in mind, my plan is to pretend to be a kid out playing in the rain, having fun splashing through puddles on my 26.2 mile jaunt. 

Standing near the front of my corral I hop up and down to stay warm. The weather conditions are too bad even for there to be the usual flyover by either military planes or helicopters.  The starting gun can’t happen soon enough. I look to my left and see 2014 winner Meb Keflezighi walking towards the front of the pack. Although he officially retired from competitive running he’s back to run this year for charity as a member of Team MR8. Meb and I have the same fashion sense. He’s sporting a garbage bag too. If this was the red carpet at the Oscars and I was asked; “Who are you wearing?” I’d have to say “Glad”.  I wonder what Meb would say.

Finally the starting gun sounds and we are off. My mission is to spend the first few miles just feeling things out. Not worrying about running a specific pace, just seeing what feels manageable and using heart rate as a guide as well.

Fortunately, the weather hasn’t prevented some diehard spectators from showing up! They aren’t as numerous as usual, but there are enough to provide some much needed energy to the environment and to be a positive distraction from the elements.

The first 3 miles are at a controlled pace as I focus on adapting to the conditions. I cross the 5k checkpoint in 23:06.  Hey, this is fun! I’m actually enjoying this. I legitimately feel like a kid out playing in the rain. My chosen apparel, including my garbage bag jersey from the Glad collection, is providing me with adequate warmth. 

I focus on just being in the moment as the course exits Hopkinton and travels through Ashland. Much like in Hopkinton, the number of spectators is down from the usual, but still there is valuable extra energy and enthusiasm supplied to the environment by their presence. 

After Ashland we enter Framingham. Framingham is rocking! Music fills the air. Spectators with enthusiastic non-stop cheers of encouragement line both sides of the street all through town.  It seems to be the race day party spot it always is.  What a great adrenaline boost!

The 10k checkpoint is located in Framingham, which I cross in 45:58. My pace is pretty consistent with where it was at 5K. I am starting to heat up to a slightly uncomfortable level, which could mean if I don’t make a change I will be much too hot by the time I hit Wellesley at 13.1 miles.  I decide it’s time to lose the garbage bag. I tear it off, leaving me with all the other layers of clothes, with the exception of my gloves. I take those off too and am tempted to toss them. But they are small and not much of a burden to carry, so I hang on to them in case they are needed down the road.

Since the start of the race there has constantly been precipitation of some form, only the intensity has changed. It’s gone from moderate rain to heavy rain to sleet and back again.  The varying headwind speed of 30+ mph sometimes even causes the rain to blow sideways. Yikes!

By the time I arrive in Natick (10 miles) my childlike enthusiasm for the conditions is gone. My legs are feeling a little numb and I’m drenched. I alternate between putting my gloves on and then after several minutes I take them back off again. I can’t get the right combination. I’m too warm with them on and get too cold when they come off. Having a miserable attitude isn’t going to help matters so I need to refocus as I have absolutely no intention of dropping out. A quote from the film Hesher starring Joseph Gordon Levitt comes to mind; Life is like walking in the rain…you can hide and take cover or you can just get wet. I’ve trained too much to let anything, including the elements, stop me. I will run and I won’t hide. I will just get wet.

At 12 miles into this soggy marathon trek we pass Wellesley College (aka the scream tunnel), where the women of the college typically line up in force to cheer on all runners with their decibel chart busting screams. Today’s weather has greatly reduced the size of the tunnel. Even though far fewer women are out than usual, you wouldn’t know it from the decibel level. The women who are here are more than compensating for the fewer numbers by screaming even louder, which I didn’t think was possible. Their cheers give me a rush and provide an invisible force that pushes me through to downtown Wellesley (the halfway point) which I reach in 1:38:31.

With half the marathon still remaining my plan is break the large goal of the 13.1 miles into smaller ones. I’ll focus on getting from one landmark to the next. The next one that comes to mind is the fire station in Newton on the corner of Route 16 and Commonwealth Ave. This point in the race marks the beginning of the infamous Newton Hills and is located at around mile 17.

The rain and sleet continue to show no mercy, coming down with a vengeance. First the rain then the sleet then back to rain. The winds continue their head on attack with a speed range of 30-40 miles per hour.  I’ve been running with my gloves off but can’t seem to put them back on again. The fingers are folded inside out and I can’t seem to undo them. The gloves are soaking wet at this point anyway so I don’t think they would do much good even if I could get them on.

The level of numbness in my legs is gradually increasing and it seems to take more exertion to move them. My heart rate monitor shows me that my heart is beating at 165 beats per minute, which is normal at this point in a marathon but usually I’m about 30 seconds faster per mile. The conditions are most certainly having an impact.

In preparation for the demands of the Newton hills I reach for a GU energy gel from my fuel belt. The weather conditions have caused the dexterity in my hands to be slightly impaired, so I clutch the gel packet as best as I can and tear off the top with my teeth. It takes two attempts but the mission is accomplished.  The flavor of choice is Jet Blackberry. The “Jet” in the title is due to the 40mg of caffeine, which I’m hoping will have a similar effect on me that spinach (no, this isn't a flavor suggestion) has on Popeye.

  

For the past couple miles I’ve felt a slowly building need to pee. I don’t like to stop unless I absolutely have to and rarely do I need to pee during a race, but these extreme conditions mean my body doesn’t have to sweat much to stay cool. The water has got to go somewhere, hence my growing need to pee. There’s no way I can hold it until Boston so I decide to go ASAP. I spy a port-o-let at the side of the road but another runner is entering. There’s bound to be another one soon (I hope), so I keep running.

At last I reach the Newton Fire Station and turn onto Commonwealth Ave to begin the ascent of the legendary hills of Newton.  I tell myself to just keep my legs moving and be on the lookout for a port-o-let.  Like most other sections of the course the spectator numbers here are lower than usual  too, but there is still an enthusiastic bunch who showed up to provide much needed support.  I steadily ascend the first hill, as I get to the top I think to myself, “one down two to go” (this is in regard to the 3 major hills in Newton, the 3^rd being Heartbreak).

The terrain is gradually rolling leading up to the second Newton hill. As I reach hill number 2 and begin my climb towards its summit I see them, there are 3 port-o-lets lined up side by side about half way up the hill. Oh sweet relief! Never do I recall being so happy to see a port-o-let. The best part is one is actually available. (Phew!). After what felt like an eternity I leave the port-o-let slightly rejuvenated.* I lost 1 full minute but the benefit was well worth it. Now I can run without that distraction. I cross the 30K checkpoint in 2:25:25. My pace is slowing but that’s not a concern. My primary mission is to just keep moving forward.

*For some reason there were no news stories about Moe Brown stopping to visit a port-o-let like there were for Shalane Flanagan. LOL

It’s not long before I reach the infamous Heartbreak Hill.  My pace continues to slow. I’m wet, cold, and fatigued from fighting a headwind for 2 ½ hours, so it’s no wonder. But I know that there is salvation ahead at the top of Heartbreak Hill. The top of Heartbreak is mile 21, at this point the terrain is either downhill or flat (relatively speaking). I make a mental note that the rain seems to have lightened up. Seconds later all that changes. The sky opens up and down comes one of the heaviest rainfalls of the day, perfectly synchronized with my ascent up Heartbreak Hill. I can’t help but chuckle at the irony of this.

After rounding each bend I look ahead, anticipating the beautiful sight of the cathedral located on the campus of Boston College. Unless you are delirious from your marathon journey and experiencing a mirage, the sight of this cathedral means the top of Heartbreak Hill is near. Steadily, I stride up the hill; left, right, repeat…left, right, repeat, until finally the cathedral is in view. I continue on…left, right, repeat...left, right, repeat.  At last I have reached the top.

There’s still 5 miles to go, but at least the most challenging terrain is behind me. My energy goes through peaks and valleys (figuratively speaking). I take advantage of the peaks and pick up my pace. During the valleys I just focus on keeping my legs moving.

I need to have another GU but my hands have even less dexterity than before. I use the same technique as before, holding the GU packet in place with my hand (which feels more like a claw now) and let my teeth do the work. The GU gives me a bit of a boost as I make my way through Brookline, then Coolidge Corner onto Beacon Street. My pace continues to fluctuate but I’m making forward progress and every step gets me closer to Boylston Street and the finish.

The Citgo sign in Kenmore Square comes into view. “I’m almost there”, I jubilantly think to myself. I reach the 40k checkpoint in 3:21:51. Doing math during marathon running doesn’t always go well, but I have enough experience with kilometers to miles translation to easily calculate that this is about 24 miles (24.8 to be exact). I’m typically finished by now but that doesn’t concern me. Today is about survival and I am oh so close to the finish line.

I feel something lightly brush up against my leg. Looking down I see that my race bib is hanging by a thread and hitting my leg. Over the course of 24 miles the strong winds have caused the bib to continually push against the lace locks holding it in place. One of them has slowly but steadily slid completely off the fuel belt. Now, just shy of mile 25, by bib is being held in place by just one lace lock. It may survive the remaining 1.4 miles but I don’t want to take any chances. In order to be an official finisher I need to have that bib on me.  I have battled the elements for close to 3 ½ hours. If I didn’t get recognized as an official finisher after all this it would suck to no end. I don’t want to take any chances. I hold the bib in place with my right hand which slightly alters my gate, and probably looks a little funny, almost like I have a cramp in my side. But I don’t care. I’m going to do what I got to do to get to the finish line.

1 mile to go. The sign in Kenmore square reads. Running through Kenmore Square never fails to bring about goose bumps. Not because there is one mile to go (although that sure is nice) but because it’s one of the busiest sections (if not the busiest) of Boston and it’s closed to traffic, enabling spectators to line the streets three, four, and sometimes five rows deep(possibly even more if the Red Sox game has finished). The energy from the crowd’s cheers here is off the charts. I’m going to make it! I’m getting colder and my patience for the conditions has almost expired, but I can absolutely make it 1 more mile.

I continue at whatever pace I can muster, which at this point fluctuates within the 8:30-9 minute mile range. I run down Beacon Street, then through the tunnel that goes under Mass Ave and back up to reconnect with Beacon St. With ½ mile to go I then make what I’ve heard referred to as the two most famous turns in sports; right on Hereford, left on Boylston. All while continuing to keep my bib clenched tightly to my side.

When turning on to Boylston the finish line is immediately in sight off in the distance. The sight of it fills me with excitement every time. Today is no exception. I’ve run 3 ½ hours through the most extreme conditions in Boston Marathon history and I’m going to make it to the finish line. I have persevered through the storm. I will do this!  

The finish line is only about 3/10 of a mile in the distance but it looks like 3 miles. I keep my eyes focused on the road about 50 feet in front of me, periodically glancing up to see how much farther I have to go. Little by little I reel myself in closer and closer until at last the glorious moment arrives. I cross the finish line in 3:34:50.

I am shivering uncontrollably as I walk down Boylston after finishing. The area on Boylston right after the finish is where runners get their medals, food, and a Mylar blanket for warmth. I am intensely cold! I don’t think I have hypothermia but I will soon if I don’t get warm.  I don’t have any recollection of ever being this cold.   Where the @#*! are those blankets!?  My legs are tight, so my walk resembles more of a stagger. On top of my uncontrollable shivering I also feel nauseous.

As tempted as I am to just stop, I know that I need to keep moving in order to get warm. My Mylar blanket awaits me not far ahead and my dry clothes are about a block away.  My stagger ultimately brings me to the first station, which is where the medals are handed out. Receiving the medal is what makes finishing feel official, so I try to cherish the moment. But, my constant shivering is too much of a distraction for me to revel in the moment for very long. Once again echoing through my brain is the thought; Where the @#*! are those blankets!? 

I stagger on, finally making it to the Mylar blankets. The volunteer wraps it around me. It gives me some relief but no wear near the level I need. I just can’t stop shivering.  Taking deep inhalations and exhalations provides me some relief from the nausea, but more than anything I just need to go someplace warm and sit down.  I continue on but my walking ability doesn’t improve much.

I grab a food bag a volunteer hands me, but don’t take time to consume anything from inside it just yet. I’m on a mission to get my dry clothes ASAP. As I continue staggering forward my nausea seems to subside, but not my shivering.  My enthusiasm rises as finally my staggering has carried me to the baggage area where I can get my dry clothes. 

I happily claim my bag, but now I need to put on my clothes. Wherever do I do that? A volunteer informs me that there is a heated tent for changing and some businesses are letting runners change in their rest rooms as well. Specifically which ones she’s not sure. Like a fish swimming upstream I work my way back in the direction I just came from, since that is where the heated tent is.

Much to my dismay there is a line of soggy, shivering runners like myself waiting to get into the tent. Ugh! If I have to wait any longer I may just collapse. I’m almost hypothermic and walking like a drunk penguin. I don’t have the patience to go around from business to business asking if I can use their rest room to change.  That’s when I see them. Right there on the street corner near the tents is a row of port-o-lets. Once again a port-o-let offers me my salvation. It might not be the most glamorous or spacious location to change, but I could get hypothermia trying to find just the right spot. I enter the port-o-let and about 15 minutes later, like Clark Kent exiting a phone booth as Superman, I emerge a new man.

Despite the conditions and my time, this Boston Marathon is one of my most memorable and one that I will recall “fondly”.  The conditions were brutal but I didn’t give up. I weathered the storm. I persevered and became stronger as a result. I feel like I am empowered to take on whatever challenges life throws my way.  I think of it as a metaphor for life. Sometimes in life things get tough and may seem overwhelming. But by focusing on just making forward progress, even if it’s slow, we ultimately enter better times.

Assorted Thoughts Over 15 Miles

39 degrees is what my smart phone weather app tells me the current temperature is. But wait! The “Real Feel” is 37 degrees.  Guess I better put on that extra layer, I think to myself with a chuckle.  I realize the value of the “feels like” temperature, but sometimes it seems a bit humorous to think that when the difference is so minimal anyone would step outside and say; “Hey, hold on. It’s not 39, it feels like 37! I’ve been lied to!” 

I’m going for a run and with the high today expected to reach 57 I expect to warm up quickly, so I decide to skip the extra layer. Today’s long run route is spontaneous. By that I mean I planned on running but I don’t have a specific route mapped out. I’m just going to run and decide where to go at the time I’m presented with an option. To paraphrase Yogi Berra, when I come to a fork in the road I’ll take it.

My intent today is to build endurance. However, since it’s April and I’m experiencing a bit of cabin fever, my other goal is just to enjoy being outdoors.  I’m in the mood to zone out and not deal with traffic, so I decide that I will seek less traveled roads. 

My primary distance goal with today’s run is to do at least 14 miles, which will put me in a good position to perform well at the half marathon distance or to train for the inevitable fall marathon. I have brought along my ipod so I can listen to podcasts as a positive distraction and a way to learn while I burn (calories that is).  I insert my ear buds and press start, starting my first podcast while simultaneously cueing me to start my run.  I begin with an episode of the NPR’s TED Radio Hour. Today’s episode is titled “What We Fear”, it examines the pros and cons of fear, what causes fear, and how different people deal with it.

Fear is described as something that is both beneficial and restrictive. It is beneficial because we need fear for survival. For example, if we are out in the wild and see a tiger fear lets us know we should flee the scene for survival sake. However, it can be restrictive because our brain also allows us to be storytellers. When confronted with an uncertain situation, such as starting a business or changing jobs, we often tell ourselves the worst case scenario story. We devise elaborate thoughts of how things can go horribly wrong thereby possibly preventing us from taking action that will help improve our lives.

My journey takes me by the back entrance to the nearby fairgrounds. This is a less busy time of year there with most events taking place inside their event center, not in the outdoor sections. I’ve run through the grounds before under similar circumstances and it has been quite pleasant, so my internal GPS tells me to turn right and proceed into the fairgrounds.

I ascend up the primary roadway that goes through the grounds then turn left into the main exhibition area. If it was September this area would be filled with excited fair-goers while the smell of fried foods and cotton candy satiated the air. Today though, all the shops are boarded up with nothing but the crispness of spring filling the air. I run through the heart of the fairgrounds and then loop back around the backside of the grounds, following a dirt road that runs along a wooded section. 

Suddenly, my focus is pulled away from the road ahead of me as I see movement in the corner of my right eye.  Turning and looking in that direction I spy a fox about 30 feet ahead of me walking towards the woods. Because my unexpected appearance has startled him, after glancing my way he does a short sprint towards the safety of the woods before stopping to study me from afar.  The road I’m running on veers to the left away from the woods, so I continue on it so as to not disrupt the fox’s plans. Recognizing that I’m not a threat he continues about his business, which based upon his repeated wandering with his nose to the ground is looking for critters to prey upon.

My first thought is that this looks like a grey fox not the more common red fox. However, I know that red foxes can look like grey foxes upon brief examination. However, I got fairly close to to this fox and didn't see much that resembled red. I always appreciate wildlife sightings,but since I was able to get so uncommonly close I was especially appreciative of this moment, regardless of the type of fox.

(Upon returning home I looked up the differences between the two and learned that red foxes have black on their legs that kind of resembles black socks. I don't recall seeing black on its legs at all. It makes me wish I had a camera during my run so I could have possibly gotten a photo to look back upon and figure out what type of fox I  had the pleasure of witnessing. I'll have to remember that for the future).

Grey Fox

                                                                 

About 25 yards later I turn to look back towards the fox. He continues to walk back and forth along the woods, searching the grounds. He then sits down in the common seated dog position, with his butt down and front legs fully extended supporting his torso in an upright position as he looks out toward me. He appears calm, looking my way in a manner that indicates he is as intrigued by me as I am of him. Within about 30 seconds of this moment two fox pups emerge from the woods. It looks like the “he fox” may actually be a “she fox” and mama is keeping tabs on her young.

   

                                                                  Red Fox


I love having these synchronistic moments. It makes me feel like my day is unfolding the way it is supposed to.  If I had started my run 30 seconds sooner or 30 seconds later I would have missed being in this right place at the right time.  

I watch the foxes for about another minute and then resume my run, following the dirt road until it reconnects with the paved roadway as I head back towards the fairgrounds exit.  After exiting the fairgrounds I continue down a more well traveled road, with the plan to turn off onto a lesser traveled town road about a half mile ahead. This road also has a pedestrian path along the side of it which will allow for a more comfortable running route.

After a couple of minutes on the main road I pass a local small auto garage and car dealership. The cars on display are all used, or pre-owned to use current terminology. They don’t look new enough to have a rear view camera or brakes that are applied automatically by the car instead of the driver.  Some of them may even have, dare I think it, manual transmission. 

The thought of modern cars having so many features makes me dread the act of having to buy a new car, which hopefully won’t happen for a long time.  I don’t want all these features. I want to be the driver not the passenger. I want to be the decision maker.  I want to be the one who applies the brakes, who steers, who looks behind me as I backup. 

In the not too distant future cars are reportedly going to be able to drive on their own, essentially turning the driver into a passenger. I’m really not a fan of this. Driving should be an experience not a mundane task, there are already enough of those in our lives. I'm reminded of an ad campaign that Volkswagen had years ago in which their slogan was, " On the road of life there are passengers and there are drivers". I really like that slogan because I feel it is a good metaphor for life. People who are drivers are in charge of their life, they are taking their life in the direction they desire. Whereas passengers just let life happen to them. Cars that do the driving are symbolic of living life just as a passenger.




Also, being aware of and reacting to things in our environment (as is necessary when driving) is part of having a healthy body and mind. Having to do this contributes to helping us stay mentally sharp and improves communication skills between the brain and the body. Driving in itself doesn’t help with physical health, but at least there is that brain/body communication component. Take that away and there is one more factor in our world that contributes to poor health.

When I was in elementary school we were supposed to have jet packs by the year 2000. I’d rather have one of those than an automated car.

Making my way onto the pedestrian path the TED podcast ends and  I tune in to the next podcast in the cue which is “Garbage Time”, a sports and pop culture podcast from FS1 (Fox Sports) with host Katie Nolan. Her intelligent line of questioning and sense of humor make it a very enjoyable listen. This episode is an interview with Tom Werner, chairman of the Boston Red Sox whose resume' also includes time as a television producer.  He mentions that after working at ABC in the 70’s he was cocky enough to leave the network and become a producer (and a very successful one at that).

  

The word cocky can conjure up imagery of arrogance, which can have negative connotations.  However, he was using the term to describe his confidence based on previous success.  Having confidence is a component of success in any venture.  I think about how well this compliments the information from the TED podcast on fear.  Confidence is important for success but I feel a certain amount of fear is as well. Having some fear allows us to make smart decisions so that arrogance doesn’t lead to foolishness. 

At this point I’ve completed 13 miles and I’m feeling pretty good, so I decide to extend my run 1 mile further than I originally planned, making it 15 miles total. I do this by taking miscellaneous side streets.As I wind through the maze of suburban streets my legs start to feel a little heavy, so with about a mile and a half to go my run starts to resemble more of a fast paced shuffle. About 20 feet ahead of me a chicken walks across the lawn of one of the homes and begins to cross the road.  I’ve run through here dozens of times in the past and never encountered a chicken. Even though it is a small town it still seems like an unusual location for a free roaming chicken to appear, so I briefly think maybe I’m hallucinating. But I quickly realize it is a real chicken, which as I get closer completely crosses the road. 

Something I’ve noticed about running is that the longer I run the goofier my sense of humor becomes.  Today that leads me to think I should go to the chicken and say; “Dude, let’s end the debate once and for all. Why exactly did you cross the road?”  I laugh to myself as I think this. At this point I’m heading straight back home which is probably a good think so my goofiness doesn’t get too extreme. 

As I approach my driveway and slow to a stop I realize how happy I am that I didn’t have a pre-determined plan for today’s run. It allowed me to enjoy it so much more. Sometimes in life you just gotta go with the flow.

Flowing into Happiness

It’s 8 am. A fresh coat of snow blankets the earth and a light fog fills the air as I begin my standard Sunday long run.Today I’m running with my headphones for some musical inspiration. My musical selection is quite diverse but even with it set to shuffle I feel like my ipod can sometimes read my mind, as it often picks the right song at the right moment. As I tread lightly across the new fallen snow to get a sense of the degree of slipperiness, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata is the first melody that serenades my eardrums.

One might not associate this with a workout song but its cadence is perfect for warming up. And despite being about moonlight it seems to be fitting. Being early in the day on a Sunday the rest of the world seems to still be at rest, providing a similar stillness as the moonlight hours. It’s just me running through a silent snow covered foggy town. The song seems to be the soundtrack for this moment, emphasizing the so called loneliness of the long distance runner.

I love my long runs, they provide me with a form of meditation, an opportunity to get inside my head and clean out the gunk that has accumulated from a hectic work week.

Despite the fact that I’m running while listening to music I am still very much able to clear my head. In fact, exercising to music has been shown to induce a state of ‘flow’ or ‘getting into the zone’.

Flow is the point during an activity in which mind and body work in perfect synch, you are totally in the moment and movements seem to flow without conscious effort. Recent research at Brunel University’s School of Sport and Education showed that music can make the experience of cardiovascular exercise far more positive. Promoting a state of flow is a way in which this happens. Researchers concluded that music and imagery could enhance athletic performance by triggering emotions and cognitions associated with flow.  

While music certainly isn’t required for a flow state, sometimes it helps. Today is one of those days for me. As my strides take me over varied terrain thoughts of my week and daily obligations disappear. The rhythm from assorted melodies on my ipod and my breathing are all I’m aware of. I’m out playing in the snow approaching the day with a childlike enthusiasm.

Not long ago I listened to an NPR episode of the TED Radio Hour in which the subject was Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. In 1943 Psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed that healthy human beings have a certain number of needs, and that these needs are arranged in a hierarchy, with some needs (such as physiological and safety needs) being more primitive or basic than others (such as social and ego needs). Maslow’s so-called ‘hierarchy of needs’ is often presented as a five-level pyramid, with higher needs coming into focus only once lower, more basic needs are met.

One of the discussions during this TED radio hour episode was with Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (see pronunciation below). The “gist” of this discussion was that after a certain point, increases in material well-being don’t seem to affect happiness. Research shows that people who, regardless of what they are doing, become totally absorbed in the activity (thereby being in a state of flow) tend to be the most truly happy. This explains why I am feeling so at peace and consumed with happiness.


                                        
                                     Mihaly Csikszentmihaly; How do you say that?

His TED talk on the subject is here: http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow

Recently, while perusing through television channels in search of something that struck my fancy I came across the film “Stick It”, a film in which the main characters are gymnasts. The description of this film from Imdb.com is as follows: 

After a run-in with the law, Haley Graham (Missy Peregrym) is forced to return to the world from which she fled some years ago. Enrolled in an elite gymnastics program run by the legendary Burt Vickerman (Jeff Bridges), Haley's rebellious attitude gives way to something that just might be called team spirit.

This film met with mixed reviews but it had some really interesting cinematography and some memorable scenes. One such scene stands out in my mind because I felt it really exemplified the power of being in a state of flow. Haley (the lead character) had a life that was in turmoil. She came from a broken home, had an unsupportive mother, and was viewed by many as being unable to live up to her potential. As a result she was rebellious.

Despite all this and the negative distractions that go along with them, when on the balance beam in this particular scene she tunes out her surroundings and puts her heart and soul into her routine. She stumbles at one point but doesn’t lose focus. From this point forward is where she achieves 'flow'. She gets right back on the beam, pouring her emotions into her routine using them as fuel to power her to a beautiful and flawless finish. My perception is that while she’s on the beam she feels that all negativity is gone and there is only beauty in each moment as she gracefully expresses herself through her routine.

Perhaps this is what the world needs for greater peace, happiness and an overall healthier state; more flow. We are so consumed by day-to-day tasks that often involve multi-tasking that we don’t take time out to lose ourselves in something, to completely immerse ourselves in one particular action. When we are multi-tasking, we cannot possibly devote all of our attention to one thing.

Flow is also far more likely to occur with mastery. By this I mean the more frequently an activity is done, the more skill you acquire. Skill improvement occurs as a result of an enhanced mind and body connection. Since flow is the point in which mind and body work in perfect synch, this enhanced connection leads to this perfect synchronicity.

Today there is too much of an emphasis on shortcuts. It’s difficult to master something if you are taking shortcuts. Also, it’s important to be persistent and not give up. More and more, people give up too quickly when trying something new. By doing this the meditative state of flow is avoided and the empowering self esteem building sense of accomplishment is bypassed as well.

All of these flow preventing factors can prevent happiness. A lack of happiness often leads to negative thinking which leads to poor health (both physical and mental) and negative actions towards ourselves and others.

Okay so maybe getting in the zone won’t cure all of the world’s problems, but it sure isn’t going to hurt. So my advice to myself and others is to slow down from time to time, take time to immerse yourself in something and work at mastering it. Play an instrument, write a book, do some woodworking, go for a run,... whatever. The activity doesn’t necessarily matter as long as it challenges you enough to require focus. I guarantee the action won't be regretted.

Ode to the Wall

On October 25^th I ran in the LOCO Marathon in Newmarket, NH.  My goal for running this race was to set a new personal record and break 3 hours in the process. This course is very conducive to doing just that.  I’ve been running marathons for over 30 years and know the importance of proper pacing. That being said, it was also important to not hold back too much, otherwise I would risk having an excessive amount of ground to make up.  So I went at it with controlled aggressiveness, knowing that I would either be successful or “crash and burn”. 

Unfortunately I crashed and burned, which involved “hitting the wall” very hard around mile 20, something I haven’t done in 15 years. If you are an endurance athlete you are no doubt familiar with this term.  For those unfamiliar, “hitting the wall” refers to the point when your muscle glycogen (the body’s most efficient fuel source) is depleted.

While at first I was upset that it happened, it turned out to be an empowering experience. Having an extinct fuel supply, yet still having over 6 miles to travel with nothing but your feet to carry you, makes one find out how deep inside themselves they can dig for strength. It also puts life in perspective, making everyday stressors seem petty.

While I would have loved to have achieved my goal, I must say I am happy I hit the wall, as it recalibrated me. Despite the effort it took I was able to finish in a respectable, Boston marathon qualifying time of  3:20. Most importantly though, post race I am approaching each day with more passion, calmness and confidence, knowing I can handle anything life throws my way.  I also learned what I need to do in my training going forward, increasing the odds that my next attempt at a personal record will be successful.  This inspired me to write Ode to the Wall.

The “wall” represents more than just a runner depleting their fuel supply. It is anything in life that stands in the way of you achieving your goal. Therefore, it is my goal and hope that my Ode to the Wall is a source of inspiration for anyone who has had a setback in pursuit of their goals,athletic or other.

Ode to the Wall

The horn sounds and racing begins. With strength and speed the hills and valleys are effortlessly traversed. Hopes run high that this will be standard fare. Yet as time passes and heart rate rises, the threat of your appearance lingers faintly in the air.

Kilometers and miles pass with no credible hints of your arrival. My imagination erupts with visions of race day glory. Could I set a record, could I win!

I confidently run on.  I feel good, I feel strong, “Bring it on!”

Hold that thought. Stay cool. I think to myself. The experienced marathoner knows that after mile 18 is when you notoriously strike.  Like a lion attacking its prey, you wait until the moment when your victim appears weakest.

Miles go by, no indication of you in sight.  With cautious optimism I power on.

Mile 16, Mile 17, the legs, they start to feel a bit heavy, my pace begins to waver. 

Have some water, have some GU, that’s what I need to do. 

This process re-energizes me. It was a false alarm. My hopes and dreams return. I run on.

I cross mile 20, you waste time no more, with the velocity and abruptness of a snipers bullet you strike. A pace once mighty becomes feeble. The day’s hopes of glory segue into hopes of survival.

I dig deep within myself for the power to propel myself forward. The hare has become the tortoise. Seconds feel like minutes.

Walk, jog, run, repeat, just keep the legs moving. Your blows are powerful but I will not be broken. I can still finish respectably.  

After much perseverance, in the distance I finally see it, a sign that says finish. Is this for real? Or did I die and enter heaven?

It is in fact for real, yet they are one in the same. The finish is heavenly on this day.

Today I was your victim, but little do you know that your attack has made me stronger and wiser. I have learned more about your ways and what it takes to defeat you.  Mark my words I will return and it will be with a vengeance. There is a crack in your armor and I’ve got a hammer.

Staying Sane In An Insane World

"What a mistake that was!"  I think to myself as I turn off the evening news. Like anyone else I want to know what’s going on in the world, but 30 minutes ago I was in a good mood. Now, after hearing negative story after negative story, I’m a bit melancholy.  I decide I need a dose of endorphins, so I put on my workout gear for a little running therapy.

Dusk begins to settle in as I venture out into my neighborhood, beginning with a jog then progressing into a moderate paced run.  I sometimes run with an ipod, but not tonight. I’m feeling the need to be without technology, running with just the sounds of nature and my thoughts.

Having just watched the news my thoughts are of course on the world today and how easily accessible information is. Between television, radio, internet and even the endangered newspaper, from the moment we wake up to the time we go to sleep we are easily inundated with information. Unfortunately, much of this information is negative. Frequent news topics such as the growing concerns over foreign policy, foreign relations, the economy, health care issues, and school shootings can easily provide many reasons to feel scared, angry, sad, or hopeless. 

The media outlets, however, would not bombard us with this information, if in fact there was no demand for it. I’ve heard that various television networks have experimented over the years with a focus on positivity, which unfortunately resulted in poor ratings. People want to know, and certainly need to know, about the dangers in our world. That being said, while it may be human nature to want to know about the dangers and events in the world, it is possible to be overloaded, causing negative effects to both physical and mental health. Just as a boat only sinks if it lets in the water around it. Negativity will bring us down if we let it consume us.

But how do we prevent this? How do we make a difference in the world? How do we create positivity? Putting an end to all the stress and strife in the world is no simple task. Fortunately, there are things we can do which will have a positive effect on ourselves and our environment. Which, in the spirit of the expression “pay it forward”, will have a domino effect and lead to others benefiting as well.

Since I’m running, the first thing that comes to mind is exercise. There is a strong body and mind connection. By exercising regularly, both your brain and body become healthier.  Scientists have been linking physical exercise to brain health for years and there is compelling evidence that physical exercise helps the brain resist shrinkage and increase cognitive abilities.  For example, we now know that, regardless of your age, exercise promotes a process known as neurogenesis, which is your brain’s ability to adapt and grow new brain cells. Additionally exercise reduces cortisol levels, which in turn reduces stress and anxiety.  All of these factors combine to make a more positive state of mind.

  

Positivity contributes to happiness and research has shown happiness to be contagious. I recently read about research in which the researchers looked at twenty years' worth of data on more than 5,000 individuals and found that when any one person was happy, their friends became more likely to share that joy. 

Benefits spread out to three degrees of separation, meaning a better chance at happiness for not only their friends' friends, but also their friends' friends' friends. It’s been my experience that periodically challenging myself by stepping outside of my comfort zone, such as with a higher intensity or longer duration workout, leads to empowerment and as a result, greater happiness.

Getting outside also helps tremendously.  Studies by researchers in England and Sweden have found that runners who exercise in a natural green setting with trees, foliage and landscape views, feel more restored, and less anxious, angry and depressed than those runners who do the same workout in a gym or other urban setting.

I have personally found that running outside at different times of day is also great for creating a pleasant state of mind.. For example, in the early morning I get to experience serenity from the stillness that exists in the hours pre-hustle and bustle of the work day. In the evening, I get to eliminate the stress that accumulated during the day and sometimes see some magnificent sunsets in the process.

Expressing gratitude is a common practice for producing positive emotions too. It’s certainly worked for me.  Taking a few minutes each day to write down a few things we are grateful for in our life, whether big or small, brings on feelings of positivity.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the health benefits of being creative and it’s quite fascinating. What I’ve learned, in a nutshell, is that the link between creativity and health has been well established, so anything that allows you to be more creative in your life benefits the physiology of your body and mind.  Creative expression releases endorphins and other feel good neurotransmitters, reduces depression and anxiety, improves your immune function, relieves physical pain, and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, thereby lowering your heart rate, decreasing your blood pressure, slowing down your breathing, and lowering cortisol.  I’ve experienced this first hand. Besides running, nothing puts me in the zone and helps me relax (or in the moment) like creative tasks. When I’m writing or doing home improvements, for example, the world is tuned out and I’m totally in the moment and stress free.

And of course, periodically disconnecting, as I have done for this run, is extremely important.  Being connected all the time to a smart phone, mobile device or computer means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in, we are at the mercy of the demands of others. It’s hard to slow down when you’re always checking new messages coming in. Disconnecting also means avoiding TV and radio, thereby avoiding being flooded by more negativity.

Adding fun into each day is often overlooked because adults mistakenly feel there is no place for it in their life. But this belief is false,play is absolutely crucial for everyone young and old. Just because we’re adults, that doesn't mean we have to take ourselves so seriously and make life all about work. We all need to have fun.  Fun (a.k.a play) is a time to forget about work, commitments, and everyday stress.  In one of my favorite TED talks, DR Stuart Brown of the National Institute for Play, suggests that a lack of play contributes to shrinkage of the brain.  Sharing laughter and fun can also foster empathy, compassion, trust, and intimacy with others. It also helps us adapt and problem solve by stimulating our imagination. 

On this thought I conclude my run. As anticipated my mood has been elevated, I’m now happy again. As I do a cool down walk I promise myself to practice all the things I’ve been thinking about.  I hope you do too.  The world is counting on us!

                         

Rejuven-8-tion; Getting Back my Mojo at the Stowe 8 Miler

I step out of my car and the humid air of this hot July morning quickly envelops my body. It’s been a fairly cool summer thus far so this heat and humidity combination makes for an extra dramatic transition as I escape from my Ford Escape into the great outdoors.

I’m at the Stowe 8 Miler in Stowe, VT.  I haven’t done much testing of my speed since my lackluster performance at the VT City Marathon (see my blog post Exposed to Kryptonite) so I am unsure what to expect. However, I’m hoping to at least equal my performance from 2012 (the last time I did this race) in which I ran a 52:57, averaging 6:38 per mile. Today’s toasty conditions may work against me though.

As I walk towards the registration table I hear a whoosh sound overhead. As I look towards the sky my eyes are greeted by a dozen or more hot air balloons, spanning from almost directly overhead to Mount Mansfield in the distance.  I’ve been to races where there have been flyovers by military jets, but never has there been a hot air balloon flyover.  Today’s race happens to coincide with the Stowe Balloon festival. Hence, the sky full of balloons. Regardless of the reason, it makes for quite a festive start to the day.

Going into the day my mind had been filled with clutter and mental gunk from a busy, stressful week. The demands of everyday life and running a business had been weighing on my mind. I was excited to run today but I was still, nonetheless, slightly distracted. The impressive display of balloonery, however, helped put me in good spirits.

I arrive at the registration booth, after completing my form and submitting payment for the entry fee I am handed a free jar of Bove’s pasta sauce(one of the race’s sponsors) and a lively colored orange race t-shirt. I return to my car equipped with my race booty, then proceed to suit up and warm-up. I still have 50 minutes until the start so there is plenty of time to prepare.

 

At last the time to report to the starting line is at hand. The start is on a gravel road in an athletic field.  I line up a few rows from the front. I’m not going to win this thing but I do intend to run fast enough to require being able to separate myself from the pack as soon as possible.

5….4….3….2…1…. Go!  We are off and running. The first tenth of a mile (approximately) of the course remains gravel before turning onto a paved road. I stay within the pack while on gravel, but as we turn onto the paved road I look for areas to run more freely. The left side of the road allows me to do this as there is more space between runners.  So, that’s where I steer myself. 

Going into this race I decided I was going to enact the strategy of having a controlled start, running the first mile at a slower pace than my 6:38 target.  This would allow for additional warm-up and enable me to feel out what my capabilities are. The number 6:45 entered my mind as a good target pace. After crossing mile one and hitting the “split time” key on my watch I see that my time for mile 1 is; drumroll……………….6:45. Right on pace! 

I’m loosening up and feeling good. These facts combined with the fact that mile 2 is flat makes me decide to increase my pace a bit. I cross mile 2 with a split time of 6:25. Mile 3 is one of the tougher ones because it has a short but steep hill as Luce Hill Rd turns onto Barrows Rd which goes by Stowe High School. Therefore, my goal is to just maintain a sub 7 minute pace, then make up any lost time on the back side as the course goes downhill through mile 4 after the high school.

Upon reaching this section, I find the downhill to be very refreshing.  My pace increases almost effortlessly while the trees are making for very helpful spectators, providing substantial amounts of shade.  I cross mile 4 in 26:30, pretty much at my pace for the 2012 race. The upcoming sections of the course are rolling, with no major inclines. However, there will be little relief from the sun, which is now beating down more intensely with the humidity rising, causing a double whammy (pardon me for incorporating fancy meteorological terms..lol). Therefore, even though I’m feeling strong, maintaining this pace is by no means a sure thing.

As I continue along at what feels to be a consistent pace I gradually reel in runners who I have seen in the distance ahead of me. I’m not sure how many runners are ahead of me, but it doesn’t seem like it could be a large number. I’m also curious as to how many there are ahead of me in my age group, which is 40-49. When I ran this race in 2012 the age groups were in 5 year increments so I took home a plethora of goodies as a result of finishing second in the 45-49 division. Doing so again this year will be significantly more challenging with the larger range in ages within the division.  Really that’s not a major concern though. Today’s race is primarily against the clock.

At mile 5 I begin to feel some heaviness in my legs, the heat and humidity are taking their toll, causing some effects of mild dehydration to make my pace feel more laborious.  As the course turns left off from the Moscow Rd and onto the River Rd there is a short, yet steep feeling ascent.  There is a runner who appears to be in his early to mid twenty’s who has stopped to walk up this hill. He has the leanness of a fast runner. He must have been done in by the heat.  “Just keep the legs moving Moe”, I think to myself, “and then open up your pace again at the top.”

Upon reaching the summit of this mini-mountain I see water.  Water in cups! Water from hoses!  This is no mirage. There is a hose perched atop a ladder raining water down to the ground below, enabling runners to run through and cool off.  I, of course, am happy to partake. This water is perfectly timed, I think to myself as I run underneath this makeshift rain cloud.  Ah, sweet exhilaration!

Immediately following the hose is a water station. Now that, for the time being, my external need for water has been satisfied I can deal with my internal need. I grab a cup and drink it down.

Upon consuming the water and discarding the cup I spy yet another hose perched above the course a few feet ahead. I capitalize on what will most likely be my last chance for cooling off and run through this second rain station.  All this water has enabled me to feel some rejuvenation. I charge forward to make my assault on the final 3 miles. 

As a result of the water I’m able to pick up my pace a bit and I feel stronger too. The remaining miles don’t have any major terrain changes so my plan is to put myself on cruise control and then unleash whatever I have left during the final mile. This current stretch is flat and on a dirt road, so aside from the heat it makes for good running. I steadily make progress on some of the runners ahead of me and end up passing several.  

At mile 7 the course enters Stowe village before turning up the Mountain Road for the final stretch. Here is where I shift into a higher gear to give everything I’ve got left.  As I exit a short stretch of bike path that connects with Route 100 in Stowe village I see another runner about 10 seconds ahead of me. This guy has been in front of me the entire race, I’d love to finally pass him but I need to do it strategically so he doesn’t pass me back. 

The turn from Route 100 onto the Mountain Road is upon us. This means there’s about a half mile to go. I hang back and, for now, avoid additional acceleration as the course takes us across a bridge over the Little River. Immediately after the bridge, the road turns right. At this point the road has a gradual but constant incline. This is where I choose to make my move. With only about four tenths of a mile to go I know that I can kick it in all the way from here.  I pass this runner I’ve had my eye on for several miles and never look back.

I dig deeper into my fuel reserves and pick up my pace. I know that very soon I will round a bend and see the turn for the finish by The Golden Eagle Resort.  However, I still need to make sure I don’t begin my final sprint too soon. I round the first bend and see another runner potentially within striking distance. With each foot strike I move closer and closer to him. I’m reeling him in, but even so, there may not be enough distance between us and the finish line to catch him.



After rounding the next bend I hear an increased amount of cheering and spectators are lined up on the right side of the road. I know the finish is right there, a short distance ahead.  I see the runner in front of me turn left onto Eagle Ridge Rd where the finish is located, which means that I will be unable to chalk up another victim. All I can do is just give whatever I’ve got left and finish as quickly as I can.  I cross the finish line in 53:58.

I ended up with a slower time than my 2012 race, however, I learned that overall I finished 9 places higher (24^th vs 33^rd). The heat and humidity definitely took their toll resulting in most people’s times (even the top runners) being 1-2 minutes slower than usual. The realization of this fact made me feel  ecstatic about my performance, just what I needed to push myself out of my funk.  Age group-wise I performed better than expected, finishing 5^th out of 57 competitors (just 26 seconds shy of taking home a prize).

The stresses of life (aka the clutter) that consumed my mind at the beginning of the day were now completely replaced with happiness and a sense of being at peace; Thereby, proceeding to further emphasize the importance of incorporating challenge into our lives and stepping off of our normal well beaten path of routine.  It’s through challenging ourselves and stepping outside of our comfort zone that we gain a renewed appreciation for what is really important in life. Our threshold for discomfort is raised, which brings about a greater enjoyment of life as a whole. Additionally, we find out that we are capable of much more than we think.

As I sit on the deck at the Rusty Nail Bar and Grille with the sun beating down on my face and a Smuttynose (another race sponsor) Old Brown Dog Ale in my hand, I reflect on how important it is to celebrate.  For life is best enjoyed with balance. Work hard and challenge yourself, but take time to celebrate your accomplishments and life itself.